The Daily News says it best, “The homeless are livin’ large in Brooklyn.”

Awww chyeaaaaa!

“The city is paying hundreds of thousands of dollars a month to rent luxury condos in a Crown Heights building for homeless families, the Daily News has learned.”

Thank you, failing real estate market.

What do we like more than free shit? Free shit we can get high to outside. David Byrne (yea, that dude from Talking Heads) is giving a free concert in Prospect Park tonight. You can take the F train there and get off at 15th St/Prospect Park stop.

Don’t know who that is? So you’re jobless and lame? Here’s an imeem link.

Oh, did we forget to mention it starts at 8pm? Don’t pretend like that’s a hassle… you don’t have work in the morning… or, you know, ever. Plus, this is the perfect opportunity to be spontaneous and ask your lady friend out and pretend like you actually paid for something for once.

From, the Village Voice: “One of the city’s coolest summer concert series, “Celebrate Brooklyn!” opens its 2009 season with a free show by one of the city’s coolest art-rock deities, David Byrne. If you caught the former Talking Heads frontman at Radio City back in February, you know what he’s offering: “Songs of David Byrne and Brian Eno,” a full-on band-plus-dancers spectacle built around music from the three classic Heads albums Eno produced, as well as the duo’s pair of egghead-pop collections, My Life in the Bush of Ghosts and last year’s Everything That Happens Will Happen Today. But having caught the show once isn’t really an excuse not to catch it again—especially when it comes with a price this nice.”

Free.99

"People give me beads not to flash them."

We’re always looking to beef up our blog roll, so if you accidentally stumbled upon us while google searching “fired poor hungry alones,” send us your blog you’ve no doubt started by now since you ain’t got shit else to do, and we’ll rep you hard.

Until then, check out our friends at Look At This Fucking Hipster. They’re basically our hunter’s guide to Williamsburg (see: Let the Revolution Begin), but they’ll make for a fine pretend important thing to be absorbed in at the coffee shop as you cruise Craigslist for that bar gig (and cheap lay).

Free.99

“Our trailer’s plenty big if we lived outside
But I can’t swing the payments on a double wide
You better hold a place in that welfare line
‘Cause I’m just livin’ on borrowed time”

So, we know we’ve been MIA for a while. Po’ Kids went and tried to find jobs and ended up with some fish bones and a couple  of delinquent accounts on our credit report instead. Mission: epic fail.

But since we know we’re not the only ones on our couch eating potato chip crumbles we left between the cushion and plotting law suits to make a dolla on Judge Judy (waddup, gurl?), here’s a little golden nugget we found in that dying beast, The New York Times for your entertainment…

As residents of the ‘burg ourselves, we love it when we see trustafarians shot down like rabid hounds, especially when the mass cleansing is publicized in the national media.

“Famed for its concentration of heavily subsidized 20-something residents — also nicknamed trust-funders or trustafarians — Williamsburg is showing signs of trouble. Parents whose money helped fuel one of the city’s most radical gentrifications in recent years have stopped buying their children new luxury condos, subsidizing rents and providing cash to spend at Bedford Avenue’s boutiques and coffee houses,” says the article, “Parents Pulling the Plugs on Williamsburg Trust-Funders.”

Our favorite cry-me-a-fucking-river part: “Mr. Weinstein has been advising two brothers in their late 20s who wanted to buy a $700,000 apartment with $250,000 from their parents. But their parents’ investment portfolio has lost so much value that they now can give only $50,000. Since the brothers make about $45,000 a year each, they are now shopping for a $500,000 apartment.”

…

Seriously? Where’s the shotgun, pa? BK Po’ Kids has officially declared it hipster huntin’ season in the ‘Burg.

Free.99

The trouble always starts at the candy store….

Let’s face it, if you’re visiting this site you can’t afford to take cabs everywhere, so you probably rely on what every other po’ kid rides: The MTA. You may have noticed though that starting in May the costs of a month long “Unlimited Ride” MTA card will jump up 27%, from $81 to $103. Yes, that is about the monthly rate for membership at the uber “hip”and drastically overpriced chain of gyms known as “Crunch”. Unlike the gym membership however, the MTA fare hike includes no “perks” just the same train ride you’ve always been taking. Ridiculous, yes, unfair, absolutely. But what are you going to do about it?

Allow us to reintroduce to you a mode of transportation that you never forget how to ride, the bicycle. Luckily we’ve been keeping our collective ear to the streets and have found you a bike that even Lance Armstrong would be proud of (if Lance Armstrong were po’ and proud of cheap bikes). The Po’laris 450 MXR. It costs $149.99. That’s just $46 more than a monthly MTA card, or in other words, its less expensive than riding the train for 1.5 months. Your bike doesn’t expire though and you don’t have to pay for its renewal every month. It’s also free exercise, so no need to join the aforementioned gym.

So ditch the train and save the money for Ramen and beer. Real po’ kids roll out on 26″ wheels.

BagMan

We’re pretty pissed we missed out on the Unemployed Olympics held in Tomkins Square Park yesterday. Instead of assuming the organizer, Nick Goddard (East Village), was being a BK-hatin’-Manhattan-hailin’-snob…

…we’re going to give him the benefit of the doubt and blame our lack of an invitation on the US Postal Service.

So, props to you Brother Goddard, for taking your unemployment status and doing something great for the community– inviting a bunch of your fellow po’ kids down to bash around office equipment and deface images of ex-bosses. We’d also like to take this opportunity to suggest you move your fax machine toss to the big BK next time, where the unemployed say, “Fuck the man! We do what we waaaant!” and throw that shit anyway. We’d also be interested in events involving tire slashing and robbing banks. You just let us know.

Free.99

“Front po’ch, chillin broke, country folk, I’m Nappy with my ways yo”